By Mikayla van Loon
Opening up a chance for men to discover new friendships and share in conversation is the philosophy of The Men’s Table.
The not-for-profit organisation is now looking to bring this to Lilydale, providing a safe environment for men to meet once a month over dinner to talk about all things good, bad, challenging and inspiring.
Regional host for Victoria Bill Karametos has been working alongside the Eastern Melbourne Primary Health Network (EMPHN) to bring a Men’s Table to the Yarra Ranges’ suburb, seeing it host an entree event on Monday 22 July at The Lilydale International.
The introductory event requires a $30 registration fee which pays for each individual’s meal on the night but more than that, Mr Karametos said, it is “the first commitment they’ve made to doing something like this”.
“What this means is they come along and they listen to what The Men’s Table is, who we are, what we’re trying to achieve, then what happens is we give them a call about 48 hours later,” he said.
“We give them time to think about whether this is something they want to commit to, because we don’t want men just coming once every quarter or once every six months. We want them to put it in their diary and say ‘I’m going to commit to this for myself, but just as importantly, I’m going to commit to the other men that are going to come’.”
Mr Karametos said “one of the fundamentals is commitment” because it builds trust between the men who attend and goes a long way in making everyone feel supported.
“Once we build a safe and confidential space, you’d be surprised how quickly men can open up.
“Knowing you’re there with other men who are there for the right reasons, men do open up and share what’s going on.
“We want them to share the good stuff as well. ‘I’ve been on holidays or going on holidays. I’ve read a good book, seen a good movie. The kids are going really well’.”
The Men’s Table started in 2011 with Ben Hughes inviting a group of men over for dinner as a way to connect and share.
In 2019, Mr Hughes, alongside one of the dinner guests David Pointon, co-founded what is now the registered charity.
“In just over four years we’ve just announced our 200th table and the evidence we’ve got suggests that once you join something like this, and it can be any organisation that does this, it’s the ability to find like minded men,” Mr Karametos said.
“We can [then] have those deeper, meaningful conversations without being judged, and have the ability to go ‘boys, I’ve got something I need to get off my chest’. Knowing you can do it in that same confidential space is going a long way towards men’s mental health.”
Mr Karametos said the recent data collected by the charity shows 84 per cent of men who attended a Table event felt a stronger sense of community and belonging; 95 per cent said it felt like it was a safe place to share; and 80 per cent reported a benefit to their mental health and well being.
A by-product of The Men’s Table events, Mr Karametos said, is the friendships and shared interests of the attendees that can then lead to further connection outside the monthly dinner.
The Lilydale entree event is open to all men, of any age or demographic, with any reason for wanting to find out more about.
“Traditionally, it’s those men who have gone through those bumps and scrapes but that’s not to say we don’t have guys in their 20s.
“We’ve got guys as young as 18 and we’ve got guys as old as 90 plus, because they’re wanting to just get out, talk, and meet new people.”
And while Mr Karametos said the hope is for men to find value in the Lilydale Men’s Table, he said if it’s not the right fit, he hopes they can find something that is, whether it’s a Men’s Shed, The Male Hug or any other organisation.
For more information, visit themenstable.org/lilydale-entree/ or call Bill Karametos on 0414 235 563.
Attendees must register. The event starts at 6.30pm and goes until 9pm.
